Gifts from crisis and challenge

Welcome to our exploration of THE GIFT OF STILLNESS.

If you read my last blog https://foxtalesforsoul.com/becoming-soul-ar-powered-gifts-from-crisis-and-challenge/ and experimented a bit with the “Go Deep” and “Go Wide” sections, you may well have some idea about the things that motivate you to keep on keeping on, hurrying through life, trying to create safety and escape some aspect of reality by speeding past. I hope you found “Slow Down, Let Go” breathing allowed you a moment or two of relief. Now we approach stillness, just as challenging as slowing down, or perhaps even more so – what will we find if we get still?

I’ve discovered that I simply feel better when I remind myself to “drop in” with stillness every so often throughout the day. I’m not good at formal meditation techniques, because I find the intensity of what comes to the surface of my mind and emotions, within that kind of stillness, can quickly get overwhelming – and I understand that this is a common experience for people who have had traumatic experiences early in life. Many years ago, I decided that it would be a Good Thing for me to learn how to do mindfulness meditation, and I fell in love a tiny bit with Jack Kornfield – his soft voice, his creativity with language and his gentle humour (I mean “After the Ecstasy, The Laundry” as a book title? Genius!). I got hold of his book with CD (yes, it was that long ago) and settled myself down to “sit” and still my mind. Jack would sound the gong to begin the practice, and I would cry. Not the “gentle trickle of a single tear down the cheek” kind of crying either, but the “full-bodied sobbing, snot and stinging eyes” kind. At the end of the 15 minutes Jack would sound the gong again and I would run gasping to the bathroom to splash cold water on my face, and try to repair the damage so that I wouldn’t scare the children and cats. At that time, I had simply too much emotion waiting to be released, and needed to find a different and safer way to proceed. So, I’ve found ways to take my “dose” of stillness drop by drop, making the drops bigger as I get settled and can hold on to calm a bit better.

A small shift in breathing – from Breathe In & Slow Down, Breathe Out & Let Go to

Breathe In & “Slow Down”, Pause and “Be Still”, Breathe Out & “Let Go”

as a three part exercise – allows me to notice in the pause how still I am in myself. I can use my senses to intensify my awareness of the stillness, often the act of consciously activating my hearing to pick up as many noises as possible seems to create a space alongside the sounds, or actively using my eyes and looking carefully at a blade of grass, a bird in flight, a vase of flowers, a beautiful painting, focusing on colour, movement of light, or actual movement – this also seems to highlight the still place as I pause.

When I have been feeling particularly ill or vulnerable during the various treatment processes for cancer, I have also focused internally during the moment of stillness, noticing that my heart is steadily beating, my breathing “breathes itself” (to quote the wonderful Jack), and my body feels solid (even if I ache or feel sick) – I am (still) alive.

Someone said to me recently, as I led them through the “Slow Down, Let Go” breathing pattern a few times, that they had a sense of a well of stillness inside them as they breathed. When we explored this together we found that this still place felt like the centre of our experience of being alive, being human, and even being divine. It is the place where our resilience comes from – I think of it as the “soul” or True Self that is within and also beyond us.

In the past year, my drops of stillness have been places where I have been able to feel alive, feel calm and gradually connect to “It is OK, right now, it is OK” rather than rushing forward to the next “What if…..?” panic. One of the aims of mindfulness practice is to focus on the present moment instead of staying tortured by some aspect of the past, or fearful of a future that has not yet happened. When we stay in the present moment we can discover our resilience. We are alive, the world continues to turn around us, and we can take in nourishment from the still place inside us.

“Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift – that’s why we call if the present”.

GO DEEP

• What does the word stillness mean to you? What images does the word evoke for you? Do you have a sense that there can be safe stillness? Notice any aspects where stillness seems to have a sense of threat attached to it, and separate out those ideas from the “safe stillnesses”.
• How do you imagine the safe stillness you find/will find inside you? Is it a shape, a form, a sensation, an image?
• What might help you to connect with stillness more often? People have used many techniques – a chiming bell, a candle flame, a beautiful flower in a vase or in the garden, birdsong, the sound of rain falling, waves rolling in, walking in woods, a yoga practice etc etc. Even the most prosaic can be almost magical – look at what the noise of washing machines, car engines and hairdryers can do for babies! (They often sleep whilst whatever engine is running, though, annoyingly, also often wake when it stops!).
• When you experiment with your own “Drops of Stillness” practice, notice what your personal stillness experience is like, how you sense it, and what emerges from it if you stay longer. Remember it is ok to pay short visits if you are not yet ready for whatever emotions might surface. We are building resources at the moment not challenging ourselves with even more to process!

GO WIDE – a simple practice to tap into some Soul-ar resources

Experiment with the things that bring you into proximity with stillness – things that will support you as you pause and visit the quiet place in your core. Maybe sit with a beautiful view, or watching rain on the window, or listening to a bird singing, or walking on grass, or standing beside a tree, whatever is available to you that feels a bit like a doorway into this calm centre of being. Perhaps this is after a walk outside, or some yoga exercises, or a warm bath.

Consider if you could gather together the “stilling” tools that work for you and create a physical space for them where you will visit and “drop in” to stillness for a moment or two.

Take a moment to pause. Start by using the 2 part breath pattern that invites you to slow down and let go:

Breathe In & Slow Down, Breathe Out & Let Go

Repeat this until you begin to feel that you are in a space away from the rushing and anxiety of whatever your current situation is.

Now add the pause, hold your breath for a few seconds between the inbreath and the outbreath. Switch on your senses and notice what there is to notice in the space between breathing.

Breathe In & “Slow Down”, Pause and “Be Still”, Breathe Out & “Let Go“

Soak up the stillness that will fill the space of pausing. Remember this is your own stillness, the centre of your being. Feelings may start to jangle at the edges of the stillness, and it is really ok to return to activity and distraction again if they do.  As an online yoga teacher says “Go to the place where you start to feel something, pause and breathe” – don’t rush it or force it, one small step at a time.

For now, you are building resilience, charging up your “Soular Powered” Batteries so that you will be ready, when the time is right, to explore what needs attention. Come back to the flowers, the birdsong, the noises of people in the neighbourhood, the washing machine switching to its spin cycle, the ordinary daily tasks that await you. Move your body, shake your arms and legs and look around you, focusing on the things that are in the room with you. You can visit your stillness again whenever you want to.

You can deepen this further by creating something that represents the inner stillness that you have found – write something, draw or paint, compose music or dance. Finding some way to concretise the experience, and what it means to you, can give it a reality and affirm that this is actually yours.

Next time we will be exploring the gift of BEAUTY. Sign up to my email subscribe list on https://foxtalesforsoul.com/ if you want to receive this blog straight to your inbox and follow each one as our journey unfolds.

See you next time!